Tuesday, December 31, 2013

We Wish You a Merry Christmas

This Christmas was THE BEST! Bradley was REALLY in the Christmas spirit and enjoyed this year so much!!! His interest in Christmas began in November when he saw a remote controlled, robot spider at Radio Shack and decided that is what he wanted for Christmas.

Bradley and Max saw Santa many times this Christmas season. Each Santa visit Bradley was joyful, polite, and eager to share his robot spider wish with Mr. Claus. Max was not as happy to see Santa...



Every Christmas movie that came on was an instant favorite. We watched Rudolph, the original animated Grinch, the Jim Carey remake of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the Will Ferrell movie Elf, Frosty the Snowman, Here Comes Santa Claus, Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas (this was Bradley's favorite), and An Elf's Story (the DVD that accompanies the Elf on a Shelf book and doll). Bradley loved our elf on a shelf and named him Jimmy (very similar to the dvd's main character, Chippy). Each morning Brad enjoyed searching for where Jimmy was camped out for the day. If you haven't heard of the Elf on a Shelf, check out: http://www.elfontheshelf.com/


We had fun anticipating Christmas Day. The boys enjoyed their daily piece of chocolate from their advent calendars. We looked at Christmas lights as a family. Bradley played the role of a shepherd in our church's nativity story and really enjoyed the candle light ceremony at church.

Christmas Day finally came and the boys were very excited to see what Santa brought!


The boys were blessed to spend lots of time with family and were showered with presents









Monday, December 30, 2013

Lunch Kit Fun

Picky eating can be a challenge many parents struggle with for any child, not just children on the autism spectrum. Bradley's tastes have expanded and he is more willing to try new things. However, his tastes are still limited compared to his 21 month old brother, Max. Meal time can be a bit challenging, but I try to make it as relaxed and comfortable as possible for everyone.

Earlier this year I attended a training that addressed food anxieties for kids on the autism spectrum. The presenter compared chronic food pressures to PTSD like symptoms. I'm not so sure that Bradley has had any post-traumatic stress when trying new foods, but I can see the anxiety in his eyes at times. If Bradley is not fully committed to what he is eating his gag-reflex becomes super sensitive and he cannot keep even the smallest morsel of the new food down. Give Bradley a piece of pizza or plain cheeseburger and he'll effectively chew a mouth full of food and clean his plate.

To make lunch time more enjoyable I draw on Bradley's lunches. This isn't an every day thing, but I try to think of things we've talked about or something he really enjoys (super heroes for example) and hand-draw it on his ziplock bags. In a previous post "Bradley can read," I discussed writing sight words on Bradley's lunch bags too. Here are a few pictures of our lunch kit fun.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Firework Duet

Bradley REALLY likes Katy Perry's song, Firework. He heard it on the movie, Madagascar 3 and very quickly learned the lyrics and melody. We sing it occasionally in the car and at home. I love the message within the lyrics and always felt like it was Bradley's anthem.


My friend, Alexis, sent me this link today and I absolutely loved seeing and hearing this girl with autism sing Firework with Katy Perry. I bawled my eyes out in my office, but they were tears of joy for the beautiful growth of Jodi DiPiazza, the amazing 11-year old girl who is sharing her voice through music.


Monday, November 11, 2013

Bradley Can Read!!!

Perceived "Inattention" is one of the symptoms children on the autism spectrum may initially present with that leads the parent or teacher to look at a potential ADHD diagnosis, rather than an autism spectrum disorder. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, ADHD criteria for inattention include: being easily distracted, having trouble sustaining attention to tasks that require sustained mental effort, and frequently being forgetful in their daily activities.

For many children on the autism spectrum, inattention is actually a result of being overly absorbed in their "own world." Autistic individuals really aren't "inattentive," from the sense of the clinical standpoint. Instead, they are so overly attentive to something else, that they are in a sense "zoning in" on their area of focus and avoiding and often becoming unaware of other stimuli. That is an AMAZING task and ability that many on the autism spectrum are capable of accomplishing. The question then, is how can parents and teachers help autistic children use that awesome power toward their school work?

I prepared myself for Bradley to struggle with reading. In fact.., I expected reading to be Bradley's most challenging subject area. After all, reading would require sustained, mental effort. However, I am ecstatic to report that I was VERY wrong about Bradley's success with reading so far. Bradley's elementary school uses a reading program called SRA. Bradley's tutor and I introduced SRA reading to Bradley over the summer. I helped him work through about 40 lessons, which didn't take as long as you would think it would... I was pleasantly surprised that Bradley has exceeded my reading expectations.

We have worked hard. Bradley seems to do well with sight words. I think he might be memorizing all of the words he is reading... To try to help Bradley with sight words I started writing his color sight words and numbers on his lunch bags. I'm not sure if Bradley enjoys reading the lunch messages as much as I enjoy preparing them, but hopefully they have helped at some level. I started simple and tried to apply what was taught in his classroom.




Yesterday I filmed Bradley completing his reading homework. This is a pretty accurate representation of Bradley's reading ability. I am so proud of the patience he has gained in taking his time to read and focusing on the work. Unfortunately the audio quality is not quite as loud as I thought it was and my 19-month old son, Max, is sitting next to me talking and "reading" too. For best results in listening to the clip, be prepared to turn up your volume and/or use head phones. I tried viewing the video embedded within the blog from my iPhone and was not able to, so if you're having trouble too you may have to view from a computer.

In the video you will seem him get a little distracted by "movie talking." Bradley watched the Will Ferrell movie, "Elf," that day (and the day before) and was thinking about a scene from the movie in his head. This happens multiple times a day with different movies, including some that we have not seen in a while. I am truly fascinated by Bradley's memory to recall the exact script including diction, pausing, and articulation. It's remarkable. Last night I overheard my husband gently questioning Bradley about his movie talk. He asked if Bradley could see the movie in his head when he movie talked. Bradley said yes. There is so much potential with that type of memory and I continue to look for a way to help Bradley use that super power for good.

What you'll also notice at the end of the video clip is Bradley walking away, on his tip toes. I notice that Bradley does more tippy toe walking when he is barefoot and on our concrete floors. When he wears heavier shoes, specifically his cowboy boots, Bradley walks flat footed. I also think there is a correlation between his excitement level and tippy toe walking. Bradley seems to tip toe walk when he is more excited or anxious when compared to when he is relaxed. This is a form of "stimming" that many other autistic individuals may display.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Iron Men

Bradley loves dressing up. He likes to wear hats, colorful clothing combinations, rubber boots, glasses, cowboy boots, and costumes. When we picked out Bradley's Halloween costume for this year (Iron Man, AKA Iron Patriot) he wore it several times before Halloween night. To prevent any sibling rivalry, Bradley and I decided Max would be Iron Man as well. When I offered Max his choice of costumes at the store he seemed indifferent, so Iron Man it was.


Halloween came and the boys happily wore their Iron Men costumes. Instead of trick-or-treating we went to our church's Fall Festival. The boys played games for pieces of candy. Bradley played every game multiple times and came home with a huge selection of candy. It was great to see both of the boys happy and having fun with all of our church family. Bradley did well taking turns and handling transition better than he has in previous years. The progress we continue to see in Bradley makes us happy as we continue to have fun together.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Dan Marino Talks About Early Intervention

Former Miami Dolphin Quarterback, Dan Marino, talks in a 2005 interview about his son, Micheal's journey on the autism spectrum. Micheal and his family attribute early intervention to Micheal's successful progress. Research continues to conclude that early intervention DOES help children on the spectrum progress toward developmental goals.

http://youtu.be/el1kQ-3Dln4

Speaking from experience, the fear of the unknown can prevent many people from seeking assessment and treatment for their children on the autism spectrum. What will this diagnosis mean for my child and family? Will my child "catch up" to his/her peers? What can I do to help them? What could have contributed to their autism? Will my child be able to lead a "normal" adult life? These questions and many more go through parents' minds and may delay the initiation of assessment or acceptance of an ASD diagnosis.


If you believe your child or a child you know may be on the spectrum, please seek intervention as early as possible. The benefit of early intervention far exceeds the uncertainty of the future. 

"See, the Sovereign Lord comes with power, and he rules with a mighty arm. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. (Isaiah 40:10, 11 NIV)"

I have only recently grasped the extent of God's sovereignty. God knows all, has GREAT plans and the mighty power to make them happen, and is in charge of EVERYTHING. Isaiah 40:11 promises us that God will lead us as parents. However, we must seek God first and pray for wisdom of His desire and the understanding of His will for our children. 

When the uncertain future for your child scares you, take comfort in God's sovereignty. Pray for guidance. Study His word. Seek support from others. Email me! I will pray for you and with you. Watch and be amazed at how God will use the experience to change your heart and bring glory to Him.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

We Went on a Walk

Whenever we have an upcoming event or fun activity I always debate about when and how to tell Bradley. He still has difficulty understanding the concept of time, so if I tell him too early Bradley is disappointed that we aren't going to the party or event that very minute. If I tell him too late, I miss the opportunity to explain to Bradley where we are going, what we are doing, and who we'll be with. I have found that some planning and discussion of the event helps Bradley feel more comfortable when we arrive at where ever we are going and have a better time during the experience.

About three weeks before the Houston "Walk Now for Autism Speaks" I decided to officially join my friend, Lori's fundraising team, "Amazing Him: Team Erik." Lori invited me to join the team earlier, but the hustle and bustle of the beginning of the school semester had my attention. Once we were team members and fundraisers I was overjoyed with the financial and emotional support friends and family gave. 

I started telling Bradley about the walk about a week before the event date. I told him we'd be "going on a walk for autism with a bunch of people who are special like you" and that he'd make a new friend named Erik. I also explained to Bradley that there would be many people at the walk and that some of them liked the same things he did. Bradley was growing increasingly excited each day that we talked about it, but was most excited to meet his new friend Erik.

The day of the walk finally arrived and the boys and I headed for Reliant Stadium with our Red Rider Wagon in tow. When we arrived I unloaded the wagon and then loaded Max and our bags of supplies and snacks back into the wagon. We found our group and after a short transitional adjustment for Bradley we settled in. Amazing Him: Team Erik was comprised of loving, approachable, and sweet adults and kids who automatically welcomed Bradley upon our arrival. However, Bradley wasn't real sure about what was going on at first and was somewhat negative about changing his shirt and putting on the team shirt that everyone was wearing. 


It is hard for me to understand how Bradley can go from being super excited and talking about this walk for a week, to not wanting to be there and going home instead. This happens so frequently when we do something new. My guess is that Bradley has a specific expectation of what he thinks is going to happen and when reality doesn't equate to that expectation, he panics. While I don't think he means to be rude, Bradley's attitude quickly shifts and he says, "No thanks... I want to go home... I don't want to do this." Needless to say, this is embarrassing for me and then we have to spend several minutes readjusting Bradley's attitude and getting him focused on the current event or task.

Once Bradley was on track to have fun then he and Erik were peas and carrots. Erik was super sweet to Bradley and they played well together.


 

Before we knew it we were about to move forward to the stage for the opening ceremonies. Lori led us in a beautiful group prayer that really resonated with me. In her prayer she thanked God for choosing her and her husband to be Erik's parents. I feel the same way with Bradley. It is an amazing blessing to be Bradley's Mom (and Max's mom too).

Walking up to the starting line we were about 50 yards away and listening to the emcee announce sponsors, donors, leading fundraisers, and special thank yous. Happy and relaxed Bradley and Max soon turned in to impatient, cranky, and frustrated little boys. The announcements lasted at least 20 minutes and the boys only became hotter, sweatier, and increasingly more annoyed. Bradley wanted to start walking, but we were surrounded by hundreds of people with very little wiggle room. Max was miserable. He was hot, didn't want to sit in the wagon, didn't want to be held, and didn't want to be told what to do. Bradley kept urging us to walk, "Come on Mom. Let's go. Move. Let's go." But it wasn't time to go and no matter how patiently I explained this to Bradley he just didn't understand.

After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the official start began and we were all excited. However, we weren't really moving. We literally inched our way up to the start line a mere one step at a time. The starting archway was narrow and the crowd was wide. It was wonderful to have such an amazing turnout for the event, but getting everyone through the narrow arch was a headache. At this point Max was screaming, literally screaming in my face. Max was screaming at the top of his lungs. He did NOT want to be held. Max wanted to run around the crowd of hundreds. Sorry Max- not an option. Max screamed in protest. I whispered into Max's ear, "It's okay Max. Mama's here. We're moving now. Look! We're going under some balloons soon." Nope- didn't work. Max continued to scream.

As we inched our way closer I tried to stay positive.I was sweating my face off. Sweet Erik noticed I was sweating and demonstrated how to cool myself off by quickly pulling at the front of my shirt. There was no cooling off for me. It was hot and the stress of Max screaming in my ear, Bradley's impatience, hundreds of people around me, the fear of losing track of one of my kids, people pushing by us, inching our way forward, being cut off by other impatient walkers, and the Texas sun were too much for me to keep my composure. On the verge of tears I began to complain. "Don't these organizers realize that autistic kids have a hard time waiting? What are they thinking? I am absolutely miserable! Uggh! This is not fun." I said these things out loud. Strangers heard and looked at me with pity.

We finally made our way through the inflatable, blue archway and I felt defeated. I felt horrible that I was complaining during this time of empowerment for so many. I continued to fight back tears but felt so alone. How strange... I felt alone in a sea of hundreds of other people. I didn't see anyone else struggling like me. I saw tons of teams helping with the kids. I saw fathers there with their children. My husband was bow hunting for deer. Someone asked where my brother was. He was bow hunting too. I felt alone. I felt incredibly frustrated. I wanted to cry.

We caught up with the rest of our team, but I couldn't stop to wait for the remainder of the team members. Bradley and Max were finally happy that we were moving and I didn't want to stop. We had about 2 miles to walk around the stadium parking lot and my arms were already shaking from caring 30 pound Max and pulling 50 pound Bradley in the wagon uphill. Thankfully several of our team members offered to help me with the boys and I finally accepted help from Lori's brother, Adrian. He is a childhood friend of my brother, so I've known Adrian for 20 years or more. Adrian is young and athletic so I didn't feel too guilty about him pulling Bradley in the wagon. I immediately felt relief. I still regretted my bad attitude earlier and hoped that no one in our team had noticed. Now I was enjoying the walk and enjoying my conversation with Adrian.


Throughout the course my stress went away and my heart filled with joy. Bradley was having a blast! He was smiling at, waving to, and hugging strangers along the course. Volunteers were cheering for Bradley as we passed and complimenting his Angry Birds rain boots. I really enjoyed visiting with Adrian and Lori and I shared our experiences with raising the sons we love on the autism spectrum. We talked about the tough times and the progress our kids have made. Somewhere along the way Max fell asleep in my arms and we moved him to the wagon and Bradley marched along side us.




As we approached the end of the course Bradley recognized that we were almost finished with the walk. He became very excited when he saw the pedestrian bridge we crossed at the beginning of the course. Bradley's excitement turned in to a jog toward the bridge, so I ran after him since Adrian was comfortable pulling sleeping Max in the wagon. The closer we got to the finish line the happier Bradley became. "Look Mom! We're almost there!" Bradley cheered as we walked back through the blue arch, "Hooray! We did it! Hooray!" I was so happy and proud of Bradley's fantastic attitude and joy.



Bradley wanted to play on one of the inflatable slides in the parking lot so after we found Adrian we wheeled sleeping Max toward Bradley's slide of choice and stood in line. Again- autistic kids and lines don't exactly mesh at times. Many of the kids waiting didn't want to wait but their parents stood strong and made them. I was very proud of Bradley's willingness to wait his turn. Bradley's turn was up next and it began to rain. After sweating for over an hour, the cool rain was a welcomed blessing. Kids crawled out of the netted slide and left with their parents. I asked if we could still let Bradley jump and play in the inflatable playground and the volunteers agreed. Bradley jumped and slid and had fun while the rain came down. Surprisingly, Max continued to sleep through the rain.


We could see more rain clouds approaching and hurried back to our team's spot to gather our things. Thanks to the help of Lori and her husband we were able to gather up our many bags very quickly and head toward the car. Adrian helped with the wagon again and we found my vehicle among the sea of cars.

Before the end of the walk I realized that the walk experience was incredibly significant to me because it was so congruent with how my life has been with Bradley's autism spectrum diagnosis. In the beginning (before diagnosis) I was frustrated with the lack of progress Bradley was making in his speech. People were telling me something was wrong but I wasn't handling it well. I felt heavy burdened by this uncertainty. I'm sure I complained quite a bit. I was anxious and scared of losing my child. I lacked confidence in his future... our future. I was rude to diagnosticians and service providers who were merely trying to help. I resisted diagnosis because I feared a label. I envied other families who looked like they had it together. I felt lost.

As we walked through the archway of diagnosis I began to feel some relief, but I was still panicked. We had such a long journey to go and I was already physically and emotionally exhausted. How am I going to do this alone? People are offering to help, but I don't know them. I can't expect them to carry my burden. Gosh this is so hard! Why don't I have the support I need? Well, maybe I do have support. Yes- I do have people wanting to help me. Maybe not who I expected, but they genuinely want to help. Yes! Thank you for your help. (Don't cry). Thank you for your help! You promise to help me through all of this, right? 'Til the end? Please?

Somewhere in the midst of the walk of treatment I am gaining confidence. I can do this. I can be the mom Bradley needs. I can be there for Bradley AND for Max. I can get us through this. I am not alone. There are people here with me and for me. They "get" me. They understand Bradley. They love Bradley. I love Bradley even more. Bradley is happy and Max is relaxed. I have friends who understand. I have friends who understand me even when I don't talk. They love me for who I am and know that my focus HAS to be on Bradley if I'm going to be the mother God desires me to be for Bradley and Max.

As we approach the finish line Bradley is happy. Max is relaxed. My friends and supporters are behind me. My burdens are distant. My God is providing me with the love, peace, and relief that I need. Bradley is overjoyed and smiling. Bradley eagerly runs toward our future with his hand in mine. I love Bradley even more.

For the rest of that day Bradley told everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, we met that he "went on a walk today." He shared his experience with strangers at Chick-Fil-A, police officers we met, and our family members later that day and weekend. Bradley loved our walk and asked if we could come back again. I promised Bradley we would and I can't wait to keep that promise next year and walk with Max and Bradley again.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Early Signs of a Potential Learning Disability

Nearly every mother may be hesitant to admit that their child might have a learning disability. It is difficult for parents to be objective with their children. Family, friends, child care providers, and teachers may bring concerns to parents before the parent recognizes them. Speaking from experience, the earlier you can have your child assessed and treated for their identified challenges, the sooner those challenges can begin to be overcome. Check out this link for 5 signs your child might have a learning disability.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Getting Ready For Kindergarten

It has been a while since I blogged.., mostly because the summer was full of spending time with both of my boys. By the time I would sit down to write at the end of the day, I was falling asleep at my computer. The summer was awesome, but Bradley and I were both ready to go back to school.

At the end of his Pre-K year last year, I met with Bradley's kindergarten teacher to get some tips on how to prepare him for Kindergarten. She offered great ideas on how to make learning fun and provided wonderful encouragement on the progress Bradley had made.  Over the summer, Bradley attended private tutoring for one hour, twice a week; attended and participated in week long Vacation Bible School at our church (I was his group's teacher); participated in a 3 hour social skills group, 3 times; participated in swim lessons; and engaged in numerous play dates. To try to keep us on-track with scheduling I created calendars with Bradley's activities and a schedule to follow at home. To be honest, we didn't exactly follow the schedule as much as I had hoped, but Bradley did very well with all of the activities we planned.


Meet the Teacher night finally arrived and we were off to meet Bradley's new teachers. To help better prepare them I typed a letter to each teacher (homeroom teacher, resource aid, music teacher, PE teacher, and speech therapist) with information about Bradley's Strengths, Challenges, Situations that might lead to upset feelings, How to get Bradley back on track/comfort him, How to keep Bradley on task, and Bradley's favorite things. We handed out our notes and a welcome back gift (travel beverage cups with candy) to each of our teachers as we walked to each room. Bradley seemed to enjoy each classroom, but liked the gymnasium and resource classroom the best.

The night before the first day of kindergarten arrived. Bradley happily went to bed, looking forward to his first day of riding the school bus home. We prayed together and as I was walking out of Bradley's room he said, "Wait Mom. Give me kisses. Give me kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss." I smiled big and kissed Bradley several times on his face as he smiled with joy.

We woke up the next day and Bradley jumped out of bed when I asked if he was ready to go to school and then ride the school bus home. The morning went very smoothly and we even left our house on time. Bradley posed for a few pictures before we left the house and then once we arrived at school. I had to keep Brad from running into the school. He was very excited!

    
When Bradley entered his classroom he was ready to play and talk to his teacher, but it was time for him to sit and color while he waited for instructions. Bradley didn't want to color (it's one of his least favorite school tasks) and said he wanted to go home. After a minute of talking about it Max and I left and I found out later that he was doing fine. A friend of mine has a son in Bradley's class and she sent me a picture of Bradley "photo-bombing" the picture of her son and their teacher. She told me Bradley really wanted to be in their picture, and sure enough he looked like he was having fun.

I went to school and taught my first day of the Fall 2013 semester at WCJC. The day seemed to fly by for me and I managed not to get too emotional about having a kindergartner. It was a rainy day, so I wasn't sure how happy Bradley would be when he got home. I picked up Max from daycare and we headed home to wait for Bradley to get off of the school bus. I underestimated how long it would take the bus to get to our home, so we ended up waiting about 30 minutes in the drizzle, listening for school bus sounds. Finally.., we could hear the school bus coming down the road and we (my husband, my in-laws, Gabe's aunt, Gabe's grandma, Max, and me) watched eagerly as it came to a stop.

 
Bradley got off of the bus with a huge smile on his face. The bus driver gave us two thumbs up and said Bradley did great. Bradley said he had a great day, that he ate his left over lunch on the school bus, and that he was ready to watch television. All week Bradley seemed to enjoy school, especially knowing that the school bus would bring him home each day. Thankfully Bradley also earned 5 smiley face stamps in his conduct folder. Bradley was very proud of "all the happy faces" and impressed me in learning what a trapezoid, parallelogram, hexagon, and rhombus look like. I see the joy and excitement in Bradley's face when he shows off his school work and I pray that he continues to enjoy kindergarten for the rest of the year as he did his first week!